A Murky Gray
by Arianwen P.F. Everett
Summary: At the end of ROTS, Yoda watches Padme give birth, and must make a difficult decision on the future. Dedicated to Cka3ka for her inspirational, ongoing, AU, 'Heart of Darkness'.


Disclaimer: This vigette is not meant in any way to infringe on the rights of Lucas Films or anyone else holding rights to Star Wars. It is merely a labor of love

Authoress' Note: I dedicate this vignette to Cka3ka, whose ongoing series 'Heart of Darkeness' has given me a new understanding of the Star Wars universe and the shades of grey therein. I was never able to accept Padme's death as merely giving up, not when her last words were hopeful, and this new perspective has led me to consider this possibility. Please don't flame Cka3ka if you don't like this story. It was my idea. Her work is perfect.

**A Murky G****ray**

by Arianwen P.F. Everett

Yoda marveled at how watching new life being brought into the world could make one feel so old, in his case, 891 years old. It was rare a Jedi Master marveled at anything, particularly one as old as Yoda, but for now, watching Senator Padme Naberrie Amidala… Skywalker's second child, a girl he barely heard the young woman name Leia, Yoda felt all his years upon him, or perhaps it was the weight of their current situation that tired him so.

The most powerful, most promising, Jedi that had ever been trained had fallen to the dark side, and nobody in the order had seen it coming. Even now, he could tell his young colleague Obi Wan Kenobi still believed his former padawan had been tainted by Darth Sideous very recently. Yoda had a far better sight, even if it was void of the force at the moment. It was the sight of experience, the residue of those nearly nine centuries, which he was experiencing. Young Anakin had fallen by degrees, just as Dooku had, just as all who fall do. It was the nature of darkness to creep into a soul, rather than ambush it in a sudden, swift attack. It had crept into the order, not just in the guises of Anakin Skywalker and Count Dooku, but into the very fiber of all Jedi.

Now, after all that had happened, he understood. The Jedi had been transformed by darkness over the past two centuries, so much so that it had taken away their ability to recognize it, outside of themselves. If only they'd looked inwards first, been mindful of their own feelings like masters had told the younglings and padawans to do for centuries, the Jedi wouldn't be on the verge of extinction now. They had assumed it had been the force beyond them changing, rather than the force within. Now everything was changed. The Sith had not only forged an empire, as they had done many times before, but had finally succeeded in taking control of the entire galaxy, and Yoda knew the suffering of the Jedi was a mere prequel to what was to come for the general population, the people the Jedi had spent millennia protecting.

Hearing the first wails from the youngest Skywalkers, Yoda tried to peer into the force, and found it clear. Now that he knew of his own darkness, he could work around it, see beyond it. They were the Jedi's redemption. However, when he looked upon their mother, he saw a truth that was as painful as her babies were joyous to the force. Padme and Anakin were one. They had been destined for each other before either had been born. They would not be apart long under any circumstances, and though not force sensitive, her soul would fall to darkness as soon as she rejoined her other half. Worst of all, if her children stayed with her, they would become one with their parents' darkness, once the two of them had been reconciled. She would never keep them from their father, any more than she would ever willingly give them away. With her quick mind, Padme was was already devising a means of finding her husband, bringing him back with her. This was symbiosis, not merely attachment, and Yoda knew the Senator, as powerful a personality as she was, would be no match for the darkness Sideous had planted in Vader's soul all these years, under their very noses.

Which led the aging Jedi master back to this moment, and the choice before him. He and the Jedi had to purge the darkness from themselves if they were to reunite with the light through these babies, who at the present momen knew nothing of either. There was only one solution, one way to save the future. He had to sever the newborns ties to the past, permanently.

Feeling twice his age, Yoda fixed his eyes on young Padme and felt the force surround her. When he heard her last words, pleas to Kenobi to see the good still struggling for expression in her husband, the weight of Yoda's conscience eased, as he slowly subdued the young woman into a force trance, one that would return her to the living force, and give her children, the Jedi, and the entire galaxy, their only opportunity to reemerge into the light one day.


End file.
